Finally Gary arrived to the circular driveway of the Niagara Parks Police headquartered in the middle of Victoria Park. It was quite a beautiful spot for the 1926 building. Looking straight across the river at the American Falls, it was surrounded by a wide open expanse of lawns accented by several flowering gardens. You were surrounded by the sound of the Falls itself; the distant roar of the cascading waters adding to the wonderment of the moment. It was picture postcard perfect.
There weren't many cars around so Gary had little trouble getting parked. The police always had a number of spots close to the building reserved for police business and believe me, during the summer at the height of the season, it was necessary to keep spots reserved. There were so many visitors it was hard to move in the park as driver after driver hunted down the smallest spot where they could hopefully tuck their car away without getting a ticket. Thank goodness the Niagara Parks Commission instituted a bus system called the People Mover. All parking along the roads in the park itself was stopped which turned two lanes into four lanes. Now visitors were obliged to park in specially designated parking lots and to use the bus service to get from the lots to the Falls itself. This certainly reduced congestion.
Locking the car door, Gary started up the steps to the building. People were visible everywhere in the park and numerous people were strolling through the gardens beside the police headquarters. It was a gorgeous day.
Once inside the building, Gary went down the corridor until he came to the main counter where the public would talk with the constable who was on duty. Bill was sitting at a desk in the office area on the other side of the counter typing away at a computer terminal.
"Bill," said Gary standing at the counter. "Good afternoon."
"Hey doc, how ya doin'?" replied Bill. "Just give me a sec. I've got to finish this sentence."
"Take your time."
Gary was a local dentist. Bill or Billy back then, had been a patient along with his entire family for the past fifteen years. The Duggans had moved to the Falls when Billy, now Bill, was 15 years old so that his father could start in the pulp and paper industry out in Thorold. Bill finished high school then went on to college for law enforcement and police training. He had been with the Parks Police for the past four years. Gary had been in the Falls for several decades and as a dental professional, had gotten to know just about everybody in town including everybody connected with the police. In the past decade or so, he had become more interested in forensic sciences and on occasion had done some work for the local force. Niagara Falls was a popular spot for those who wanted to commit suicide and sometimes those suicides were messy. This meant calling in a forensic expert to identify the body using dental records.
Bill got up from his desk and came around to the counter. "Good to see you." Bill stuck out his hand and smiled. He was respectful of the older gentleman but had a certain camaraderie with him.
Gary shook Bill's hand. "I was in the area and thought I would drop around and see how the force is doing. According to the paper, you've had a busy weekend."
Bill chuckled. "Yeah, it turned into a double whammy this year. With July 1st falling on the Friday then July 4th falling on the Monday, it was go, go, go for an extra long weekend. I still haven't figured out who's nuttier, the Canadians on Canada Day or the Americans on Independence Day. Whatever the case, we had a work cut out for us. The park was just jammed."
"I can imagine," said Gary. "I, for one, opted to stay away from the area. Heck, even in town it was difficult getting around. My wife and I went out to the mall on Saturday and it was quite busy."
"Surprisingly enough, we managed to get through the entire weekend, probably the busiest of the year, without incident." The telephone rang. Bill walked back to his desk and picked it up. "Hello?" He listened a bit then said, "Yes, sir. I phoned local services first thing this morning and they said they were sending a counsellor around the hotel. I gave all the particulars to the supervisor in charge." Bill hung up and walked back to the counter. "You missed a good story last night."
"Oh?"
"Well, it's a good story but a tragic one. I guess our incident free weekend had to come to a screeching halt."
"What happened?"
Bill chuckled. "An American couple, Barbie and Ken and no, I'm not making those names up, were in town for their honeymoon."
*****************************
At some time or another, both Barbie and Ken had been ribbed about the similarity between their names and the famous dolls from Mattel Toys. However, when the two of them decided to get married, it was like somebody had opened the floodgates and they were inundated with references to this couple. As Ken jokingly liked to say, "It was pretty funny for the first two thousand, five hundred and eighty-three times." Everybody wants to be funny; everybody likes to crack a joke and be witty. Unfortunately, it never seemed to occur to any of these would-be pranksters that maybe, just maybe, they were not the first person to point out to Barbie and Ken that their names were just like the two dolls. Ha, ha. Gawd, I had never heard that before. Aren't you funny. Not.
Barbie and Ken had debated back and forth where to have their honeymoon, but in the end, Ken broke the deadlock by saying that his parents had taken him to Niagara Falls when he was six years old and he really wanted to go back to the same place where he stood in an old photograph in a family album. With that decision out of the way, Ken booked them into the honeymoon suite at the Hilton Casino Hotel and they agreed that any gambling they did during their stay would be limited to no more than twenty dollars each per day. Ken laughed retelling a newspaper article he had once read where some newlyweds gambled all their money away on their honeymoon and had to phone their parents to get enough money to get home. That didn't seem to be a promising start to a marriage so why not set some ground rules about having fun. Besides, there was a lot to do in Niagara Falls besides sitting in a casino shoving coins into a one armed bandit, right?
During the long weekend, the newlyweds managed to pack in quite a bit of activity both in and out of the bedroom. As with any natural wonder, the town had its fair share of questionable attractions which had sprung up around the Falls in an attempt to wrest as many dollars as possible from the tourists. However our couple had decided early on to focus on things relating to the Falls and its parklands rather than going to neon-lit attractions like the Elvis Museum or the House of Frankenstein. The Maid of the Mist boat ride, the Journey Behind The Falls series of tunnels and platforms behind the Canadian Falls, Victoria Park itself and Dufferin Islands, all provided Barbie and Ken with a memorable start to their life together. They even took a day to make the leisurely drive north along the Niagara Parkway to the picturesque little town of Niagara-on-the-Lake taking in along the way the Butterfly Conservatory, the whirlpool and Aero Car, and Brock's Monument.
On the final night of their stay, the couple did the town right by having a glorious dinner, followed by a nightclub show then topped off with a pass through one of the casinos for a few drinks and a couple of turns at both the machines and the tables. Lady Luck was continuing to smile upon them as Barbie in playing the slots walked away with a jackpot of a hundred dollars. The two of them were laughing at their good fortune and Ken insisted that they leave immediately. After a win like that, the only inevitable outcome if they stayed would be to merely feed all their winnings back into the casino and proceed to lose even more. This was a sign from the gods to take their fortune and get out while the getting was good.
Barbie and Ken decided to end the evening on a high note by taking a last look at Niagara Falls. It was late and dark out but Ken knew that the illumination of the Falls lasted until midnight. Strolling with their arms around one another, they enjoyed the fairy tale enchantment of the waters lit up by coloured spotlights, the roar of the cascades and the occasional wash of mist. It was a memorable moment.
"God, I gotta go," said Ken.
"What?" Barbie replied. "Why didn't you make a visit when we were at the casino?"
Ken chuckled. "I didn't have to go then." He pulled his wife a little tighter and kissed the side of her head. "You know me. Liquids just pass through me like crazy. The fastest kidneys in the West!"
"I wonder if there's anything open. It is kind of late."
"Listen, I'm just going to hop over the fence and hide behind that tree."
"What? Are you crazy? What about the gorge?" Barbie looked at her husband like he had just lost his mind.
Ken laughed. "Hey, I'm not suicidal. And I'm not nuts. This area isn't flush up against the gorge. Look there are trees on the other side of the barrier." The fence or barrier was made out of cemented stone. While it was meant to mark the limit of where it was safe to walk, it was also decorative; no chain link fences beside one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
Barbie could see trees on the other side of the barrier. She leaned over and sure enough, there was a patch of ground with a couple of small trees. Ken let go of his wife and putting one hand on the top of the barrier jumped up on top of it and down on the other side. "Ta-da!" he said.
Barbie said, "Be careful." Was she being overly cautious? In the semi-darkness she could see a patch of land, like a point sticking out towards the gorge. She looked left and right and had the impression the barrier was placed where it was in order to follow the road. It seemed like whoever built it just wanted to avoid putting something on this point of land. "Pssst!" hissed Barbie.
"What?" said Ken.
"Here's comes somebody." said Barbie. Ken ducked down out of sight as another couple strolled by. Barbie waited for about ten seconds and said, "Okay they're gone." After a couple of seconds, she realised that Ken hadn't said anything. She leaned over the barrier. "Ken?" For a moment, she wasn't quite sure what she was looking at. It was semi-dark and her eyes needed a moment to adjust to the level of light. Ken wasn't standing where she last saw him. Where did he go? There were two small trees and had he walked in behind either one of them?
Barbie's eyes fell upon the groove in between the two trees. It was a slanted as though the rain over the years had dug out a trough in the shape of a V which became more pronounced as it moved away from the barrier. She suddenly realised that she was looking at the upper body of Ken. He had slide down this incline and the lower half of his body was over the edge. He was madly failing his arms in an attempt to grab a hold of something, anything. Unfortunately, there was nothing but rock and some dirt. Barbie watched as Ken continued to disappear over the edge. At the precise moment when Ken's chest went over the edge, Barbie heard him distinctly say, "Oh shit." Then he was gone.
Barbie remained leaning over the barrier for a moment staring at the edge of the incline where her husband had just disappeared. What had just happened? Where had Ken gone? Her brain was frozen not quite comprehending what she had seen and what it all meant. As she tried to sort this out in her head, a cold chill came up from her gut and spread upwards through her chest to her head. Was it an adrenaline rush? The realisation that her husband had not just slipped but fallen into the gorge began to take on the aspect of a horror show. What started out as apprehension about Ken going over the barrier was turning into full-blown fright.
Barbie looked to her left then to her right. There didn't seem to be anybody close by. She started yelling "Help!" at the top of her lungs.
*****************************
"I was on duty last night when the call came in," said Bill. Gary had stood there in rapt attention as Bill told the story. It was a tragedy but it was also a comedy. Niagara Falls was one of the more popular spots in the world for those who wanted to commit suicide but there were also numerous stories of tourists who did something which flew in the face of common sense and once in a while, they inadvertently killed themselves.
"I don't think we managed to recover the body until 4am. It turned out that this Ken guy slipped off an edge which juts out somewhat into the gorge. When he fell, he had a clear fall of about a hundred and fifty feet onto the rocks. It seems that he fell head first and the coroner said his neck was snapped immediately."
"Whoa," said Gary.
"Oh God, what a mess though. Half the guy's head was bashed in like a melon falling on the floor. When we finally did get the body back up, we wanted the woman to identify her husband but we had to make sure we covered up the one side of the head. Thank God he hadn't fallen on his face. I have no idea what we have done then."
"Where's the woman now?" asked Gary.
"As far as I know, she's back at her hotel. Some relatives were coming up to meet her but wouldn't be able to get here until late tonight. The chief asked for a counsellor to be sent over to talk with the woman. Brother, can you imagine? On your honeymoon? They had only been married five days. Five days!"
"It's unbelievable," said Gary. "What a tragedy but then again, when will people learn?"
"Yeah, so sad," said Bill. He then smiled. "Just imagine though that your last words for posterity are 'Oh shit!' It is really sad but when I heard the interviewing officer tell me about the talking with the woman to get her story, well, I couldn't help chuckling."
Gary smiled. "It does have a comedic slant to it. Then again, there are a number of tragedies which do have a funny aspect to them. It makes me think of those Darwin Award stories where somebody kills themselves by doing something which seems stupid but in a rather obvious way. What the heck was the person thinking?" Gary glanced at his wristwatch. "Oops, I've got to get home."
Bill looked over at the clock on the wall. "Yeah, I'm going to be finishing up shortly myself."
Gary reached across the counter and shook hands with Bill. "Good to see you, Bill. Give my regards to Lucy."
"You too, doc. Take care of yourself."
Gary walked out into the beautiful day; beautiful to some people, sad for others. He wondered what was for dinner tonight as he walked towards his car.
2011-09-22
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