I had already been out for a jog so I knew it was quite brisk and I wanted to make sure all of us were dressed warmly enough for our nightly constitutional. Just before opening the door, I thought to put on my tuque. Oh, oh. I realised it was soaked. I had worn it for my jog and yes, I did work up a bit of a sweat and didn't think about my hard work leaving it drenched. Ugh, now what? I had showered after my jog and did I now want to put on my sweaty old tuque? Hmmm, now here was an idea: I put it on inside out. That way I could get the dry side against my head and the wet side out so it could dry. God am I brilliant.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Oh boy, now don't I look like a fashion statement. The inside seam of the tuque was running from front to back on the top of my head and there right on top of my head was the label. I paused for a sec thinking I looked like a bit of an idiot - who wears their tuque inside out? - but thinking that it was dark out, who was going to see me? Somehow this seemed like a practical solution to keeping my head warm but not having to wear the sweaty side against my skin. No? Well, it made sense at the time.
I got the kids out the door and we took the elevator down to the lobby. We went by the concierge desk and fortunately the area was empty. Good, nobody was going to see my inside out tuque. I held onto the two leashes with one hand and held the doors open with the other letting the dogs pass me and go outside. We turned left and headed around the block for our customary round.
As per usual, I had a pocket stuffed with a half a dozen baggies. Over the years, I had the picking up after two Lhasa Apsos down to something of a science. I had long ago noted that both of them usually went more than once during our walks so I always counted the total necessary based on two dogs times multiple times each. While dogs are dogs, I had become very conscious of their individual personalities. Macchiato was male and inquisitive with other animals but very leery about human beings and would even snap at strangers. Toffee was female and leery about other animals but very, very friendly with human beings. Go figure.
Another difference between the two of them was that Macchiato would go at the drop of a hat, but Toffee wanted to mull it over during our walk before committing to anything. - Gee, does a work of art take time? - Macchiato without any hesitation started a crouch almost as soon as we exited the building and I reached into a pocket to pull out a baggie. Thank God I had small dogs. I had watched others in the park out walking some monster like a German Sheppard and noted those people carrying grocery bags for their clean-ups. Good lord!
I picked up after Macch and held the sealed end of the baggie between my pinkie and third finger. There would be more as we continued. I still held both leashes but Toffee had some length to play with. As I turned, I noticed she was at the curb with her head over the side smelling something in the gutter. I took a step and leaned over. God, it was a dead squirrel. I yanked the leash back to pull Toffee away from it. It looked like a car had run right over the head of the animal and squashed it like a pancake. Eew. I guess that at some point somebody kicked the carcass to the curb.
I backed away to continue our walk but then Macch wanted a sniff. Okay guys, let's move along and let Mr Squirrel continue his nap. A tug on the leashes got the attention of the two dogs redirected to the walk and back to heading down the sidewalk.
Things were uneventful for the most part. Other people passed us. Oh, look at the cute doggies. Other dogs out for walks strained at their leashes. Macch, being Mr. Macho Male, would occasionally get aggressive and I would have to pull him away from the other dog. I thought it was funny how he'd get aggressive with dogs who were what? twenty times bigger than him? Look Macch, I think your head might just fit in that dog's mouth. Ha, ha. Read: You idiot, how about picking a fight with somebody your own size?
We arrived at the opposite side of the building where there was a corner patch of lawn. For some reason, this was Toffee's favourite spot for doing her business. As I said, Macch would just go but Toffee spent a fair bit of time running around before she would do anything. This was her open area to do just that.
Being in the downtown, only a half a block from a main thoroughfare, I saw a fair number of people. At one end of the spectrum, there were club goers dressed up for a night on the town and at the other end, the homeless and the colourful including the "hippyish" or the young trying live off the land, the land of city begging. It was this latter group I tended to be wary of, steering clear of the gauntlet of outstretched hands asking me to contribute to the latest personal relief fund. For the most part, when I was walking the dogs, these people didn't bother to beg from me. I guess with me out walking two dogs I didn't look like much of a mark.
Out of the blue one night, a gentleman, and I use that term loosely, stopped by the dogs.
"Hey Lhasa Apso. How cute."
I looked the guy up and down and immediately thought to myself I was dealing with a street person. However the guy was talking a mile a minute which then gave me the idea he was high. "My neighbours when I was a kid had these dogs and they were just charming. I really loved them. I like dogs. Are these your dogs? They're cute. You must like them. I like dogs. Hey, I've got some biscuits. These are dog biscuits. Can I give them a biscuit? I think they'd like them. I know that other dogs like them. These are made with natural ingredients. They have peanut butter."
Hel-lo. Are we high on life? Or maybe something else inhaled or swallowed? Now when the guy brought up the dog biscuits, I got a little apprehensive. First of all, I didn't know what the biscuits were made of. Do you accept food from strangers? But more importantly, I was trying to follow a careful regime when it came to feeding the dogs. In other words, I was trying to avoid snacks or well, just crap. I had taken the two of them into the vet's a few times to have their teeth checked which had led to them getting their teeth cleaned and even having a couple of bad ones yanked out. Geesh, how much plaque does a dog get? Apparently quite a bit. As a consequence, shelling out a few hundred dollars to have your dog taken care of makes you think twice about following a course of action which may be contributing to their bad health. Yes you love your kids but if you really loved them, would you be feeding them crap?
I protested and explained that both dogs were following a specific diet so no, I didn't want him to give the dogs a biscuit. "Are you sure? They're good biscuits. I know other dogs like them. They're made out of peanut butter. These biscuits are supposed to be good for them." This guy just blathered on nonstop. Did he ever come up for air?
Finally I just came out and flatly said that I didn't want him to give the dogs any of his biscuits. I tugged at the leashes to move the dogs along starting to back away from this, ah, gentleman. He stopped talking and looked at me. Suddenly a light came on somewhere and he "got it"; he understood where I was coming from. He then said to me, "Hey, you think I'm crazy? I'm not the one wearing his hat inside out."
I led the dogs away and continued to go down the block to go back inside the apartment building. I hadn't really understood this last thing the guy had said to me until I reached up to adjust my tuque and I felt the label on top of my head. Oh, oh, then I remembered. I had my tuque on inside out. I mulled over this last statement from my street person. The more I thought about it, the more I realised he wasn't high or crazy as I may have thought. No, he zeroed right in on my hat, my tuque, and the oddity of me wearing it inside out. Yes, the more I thought about it, the funnier it all seemed. There I was being all judgemental about this guy and I'm the one walking around with my hat inside out like a complete idiot. Oh gawd, this was hilarious.
It's been years since this happened to me. Every once in a while, I remember this incident and yours truly on his high horse being Mr. Superior Class, Mr. High and Mighty and not being quite as accepting or friendly with a total stranger as maybe I should have been. Who was he? A homeless person? Somebody high on drugs? I didn't know then and I don't know now but I come back to his discerning observation which completely encapsulated my initial condemnation of him. I'm laughing out loud as I write this. "Hey, you think I'm crazy? I'm not the one wearing his hat inside out."
2011-09-23
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